This week has been so busy because of my move back to Nottingham and getting everything set up for the flat (internet mainly). Now that I’m mostly unpacked, I can turn my attention back to blogging. I’ve seen several bloggers write a letter to their younger selves, and now that I’ve finished uni, I thought now might be a good time for me to write one.
So much has happened over the last 4/5 years for me, both up and down, but now I feel like I can really do what I want! This letter is addressed to my younger self, a year or so before uni – when I’d just come out of counselling and didn’t have many people to turn to.
Dear 17 year old Jess,
I know you’ve been through a lot these past few years, the mental struggle it takes to over come depression and live with anxiety is huge. You are so strong for that – don’t forget it. I’m here to tell you that university is everything you imagined and more, the friends, the laughter and the happiness will fill your life.
However, there is harder times ahead. Computer science and uni itself will take it out of you. It is a difficult course and full of challenges but guess what – you get a 2:1! How good is that! I’m so proud! These next few years will show you how resilient you really are, through academic challenge and other issues you’ll face. There are decisions you’ll make that are so so hard and steps you’ll take that seem so daunting and difficult – but you’ll make it.
I’m writing to remind you that there are people around you who do care. You will always have someone to turn to in times of need, even if it doesn’t feel like it now. The people you’ll meet are beautiful and special in every way – course mates and flatmates alike. Each one will bring something new into your life, so cherish them.
You’ll also discover, through falling for the wrong people, that you are in fact capable of love and worthy of being loved by the right person. I’ve just moved in with my boyfriend of 2 years and couldn’t be happier – you’ll know who this is in time. I know you have trouble showing your emotions but one day you’ll meet someone and discover its easier than you think.
After uni there is more to come, which I am only experiencing now. I/you have a job lined up that looks so exciting and fun. More people to meet, more ideas to come. You’ll find things and hobbies you have a real passion for and understand how happy you can be.
So worry not about getting through uni, cause you make it there. Don’t worry about love because you’ll discover that too. Keep exploring – your doing just fine!
Lastly, I thought I’d make a little collage of photos from the last few years to show you who you meet and how wonderful life really is and the places it will take you.
Love, 22 year old Jess
Thank you for reading this post, its made me a little emotional. As someone who lives with anxiety sometimes you need a little boost from people to let you know that everything is gonna be ok.
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